Every time I visit China, I always see Western families in the hotel lobby with their Chinese adopted children in tow. If you ever wonder what exactly become of them, how they are doing, and what struggles and challenges they face, here’s an interesting essay I found by Elizabeth Holmes, a Chinese adoptee, who won second prize in the Celebrate Diversity! Essay Contest. Read Elizabeth Holmes’ Essay on Culture, Identity and Heritage.
5 responses to “A China Adoption Story”
As a birthmother who has found a son with anger issues and met hundreds of other adoptees with many adoption issues, I find it interesting you wonder how cross culture adoption works. I think many people are so desperate to be parents, not finding many children in u.s., turning to overseas although I never read about these people going to Africa to adopt aids orphans. I like you, wonder about cross culture adoption and how it affects a chinese child in say Iowa where she may be the only chinese child in their school. There must be some disconnect. Its an established fact that children all want to be like everyone else. In the rush to adopt, I think many disregard this basic need for a child to know their identity.
…I am a Korean Child that lived in Iowa. I am now 21 years old. I had no problem. No “disconnect” issues. In fact…I have always been rather proud of being Asian, adopted, and Korean, while everyone else is white, and plain. (don’t take the “white and plain” badly, please). But actually in Iowa, I was 1 of 2 Korean Adoptees in my class. I was in a family of 3 children, me being the only korean. I was special, and blessed. 😀
oo, added note.
I think in the process of adoption, and those who take there time, forget to realize, that there are children out there that are just wanting to be loved. And if you have the love and the ability to nurture them, a little identity crisis (or big) may just be a hic-up in the road of a long road of much laughter, love and happiness. You are a family, no matter what happens. To me at least.
Thank you Elizabeth for your essay. As adoptive parents, your comments are of interest and concern to us for our own child’s identity. We chose her name carefully, as your parents did, to include both cultures. We belong to FCC to expose her to her heritage within Canada. She’s a happy little 5-year-old who thinks she looks like daddy because he has dark hair, while her sister, (biological daughter) looks like mommy. She refers to things of her heritage as, “My China”. Our whole family is enriched because we’ve included her culture into all of our lives. We chose to adopt internationally long before we were married and planned our family because we were a couple who had love to give to a child who needed to be loved. We also have great respect and interest in the Asian culture. We were not simply “desperate to be parents.” We live in a province which makes it difficult if not impossible to adopt a child from Africa with aids or anywhere with hepB and many special needs. There is no “rushing” involved in international adoptions, as Stephanie alludes to.
We appreciate the pride and honesty you’ve expressed in your development and anticipate that our daughters will feel the same way about their lives as they mature.
I am a 22 year old Chinese from Iowa actually! I was not adopted, however, but I did go through a little bit of an identity struggle. I was either the only Asian or perhaps one of four other Asians from elementary to high school. It came about in junior high and lasted through high school and didn’t completely disappear until my third year at college. I had always attempted to ignore my ethnicity and avoid anything Chinese, save for food, hehe. Yes, I went through a slight disconnect, but it was not overly significant, and I got over it.
I finally came to embrace my heritage, proud that I was Chinese among a sea of Caucasians. In my senior year of college, I enrolled into a Chinese language course, and I am actually working abroad for a year in China right now! I only wish I had urged my parents to teach me the language sooner!